Today, I will tell you a story of a woman who is very well known to all of you. Either you have heard stories about her from your parents and grandparents and/or have read it yourselves. You know her as a virtuous, dignified, patient, and courageous character. By now you might have started to wonder who could possibly this figure be? I am talking about no other than Draupadi from Indian Epic Mahabharata. She is considered as one of the Panch Kanyas meaning 5 virgins (virtuous girls).
Most of us know that Draupadi was the common wife of five Pandava Brothers. Throughout her life, Draupadi had to struggle, suffer, accommodate and tolerate humiliation.
Draupadi was the fire born daughter of Drupada, King of Panchala. He performed religious rituals to get a son. From the fire first came out a boy and then a girl. Drupada refused to accept Draupadi since she was a girl. He was forced to accept the daughter by the saints who performed the Yagna. Having no choice, Drupada put a curse on Draupadi. He wished that let Draupadi’s life be full of miseries and sufferings. Let her have all the challenges in life.
Draupadi was born as a young girl. Draupadi also known as Panchli, was the most beautiful woman of her time. She had no childhood. Drupadi did not get the opportunity to learn how to deal with life. She was born wise and extremely intelligent. Later, she got married with Pancha Pandava. She had five husbands and five sons. But Pandavas gave Draupadi no joy, no sense of victory, no respect as mother of their children. Draupadi was a heroic princess with a firm and unbending will. Draupadi developed the strength to bear the trials of life. In spite of being a woman, she became as famous as the heroic Pandavas because of such determination.
In life, the more challenges you face the stronger you become. This is a universal fact or dynamic. I want to use this story as a backdrop to share my own story with you. Not all the elements of Draupadi’s life mirror my own…but the key elements I want to focus on which have commonality with Draupadi’s are the elements of karma or action, a drive to succeed with determination and how those elements have shaped my overall journey towards my personal success. The definition of success is of course quite subjective, but in my mind success is the achievement of one’s aim, or purpose or aspirations.
I was born and raised in a very loving, caring and protective environment. I had great encouragement and support from my parents to develop and grow academically and culturally. Our house was filled with joy, laughter and happiness. I was the younger child. Therefore, I was often shielded from difficult situations and to some extent I grew up believing, or rather others believed, that I did not have any clue about how to handle difficult situations. My life was smooth sailing up until the age of 20. All on a sudden my father was diagnosed with a terminal disease. At around this time, my elder sister got married and went to live with her husband in another part of India. I had to step up and take full responsibility for looking after my sick father, the household, financial and property matters. One of our properties was going through litigation as a result of renters refusing to give up the house into which we were supposed to move. After a few short months of my father’s grave medical diagnosis, my father passed away. At that time, I was studying in a graduate (Master’s) program. It was a hectic, trying time as in addition to my advanced studies, I also filled my days with pursuing a challenging court case, pursuing music seriously with hours of practice, working and looking after my grieving mother. It was quite nerve wrecking. I had to grow up overnight and the carefree days were over. But I had no choice and it sink or swim time. But I was not prepared to give up and rather decided to rise up to the challenges life threw at me and decided to face them head on. The more problems I faced, the more determined I became. With my tenacity and determination, I was able to
overcome all the hurdles that came on my way. I successfully completed my Master’s Degree, won the court case and progressed in the field of music. All of these trials and tribulations helped me to recognize and acknowledge my inner strength and ability.
This self-recognition of the power of determination and action is a running theme in my life. Fast forward to 1980 when I came to Canada to perform from Guyana (South America) where I was posted as a Cultural Officer and Music Teacher at the Indian High Commission. I fell in love with Canada at first sight. During the same trip, I was offered a job by a Canadian musician to teach music at his school. On the basis of my having a job here, my whole family instantly got granted immigration. So my next major challenge started as we got immigration to Canada. In early 1982, my husband and I came to Canada with our two small children. Shortly after, my husband needed to return to India due to some personal/family reasons. He took our elder daughter with him as it was felt that in the event we couldn’t stay in Canada, her standard of education shouldn’t fall behind. It was and still is quite competitive in the Indian school system and that drove some of our collective decision.
I decided to stay back in Canada with our younger daughter who was only 4yrs old at the time. That was the first time I
ever lived alone. I worked, studied, looked after my daughter, performed and taught music and managed household responsibilities all by myself. It was extremely difficult at times but I never got discouraged. I always found the light at the end of the tunnel. With my perseverance, determination, and a sense of dignity, I overcame all the challenges. I completed Business Management, acquired a senior management position at the Scotiabank, and established myself as a professional classical vocalist and music teacher.
In 1988, when our family decided that permanently living in Canada was a viable possibility, my husband returned to Toronto with our elder daughter. After 6 years, the whole family reunited. From that point on, we never looked back. Today, I can say with a lot of pride that both of our daughters are not only well educated and professionally established but also have all the values, virtues and understanding of our rich culture. I was able to play the role of a caring mother, devoted wife and pursue my dreams at the same time. I don’t know what the future holds but I can confidently say, and I believe my family would echo this as well, that it has been a “success story” so far in that the aims and purpose that we set for ourselves as a family, and that which I set for myself as a woman, have all come to fruition.
We all have the ability to become the heroic woman like Draupadi. This is possible if we investigate and understand what we want to accomplish in life and have the unbending will and determination to see our vision come to life. In fact, there is no secret to success, success is the reward for knowing yourself, acting with courage and determination and doing your best along the way.
